Friday, 28 February 2014

Vertigo - Bloomin Vertigo!

Posted by tracy watkiss at 14:00 1 comments
I was feeling so positive this week.

Saturday - lovely walk with friends = no panics, stress or anxiety
Sunday - Braved a walk just myself and Oscar 7.75 miles = just a little wobble but pleased I pushed myself.
Monday - Went to town with Mum and Daughter = tired and home by lunchtime but still feeling positive.
Tuesday - Managed loads, Swim, 9.30 till 1.30 in shop, gym in the evening. WHOO HOO
Wednesday - Tired out but feeling positive still , Made a card with a view to doing a workshop.
Thursday - got upto go toilet at 4.30am room swaying, eyes not focusing and dizzy. When I walked I veered to the left so rested up.
Friday - Got up to go swimming and then into shop but felt so low, and still dizzy and sick, still tried went swimming, felt sluggish and not with it. Sat after with a coffee to steady myself to go to shop, but it was not to be, felt so rough and sick. so home sofa and sleep.

I am not going to let myself sink though, As I saw light this week and I am chasing it xxx

Friday, 21 February 2014

Posted by tracy watkiss at 16:59 0 comments
I have had a very nice day today, I went in to see Karen and we had a chin wag and a coffee, I sat and watched her draw out a quilt pattern onto calico and just generally watched the morning go by. It really was very relaxing, then home for lunch and now I am watching the Winter Olympics and my eyes are drooping as I am tired.

So what questions shall we do today, well lets see.

Q1) Do you doodle and what are your doodles normally like?

yes I doodle every day, and they tend to reflect my mood, when I am happy birds, bees, flowers and the sun are all present in my doodling. If I am not quite so happy, just swirly mess normally ensues with raindrops.

There are times when I am writing my journal I doodle to match some of the points of the day I have had or topics I am talking about too, I find this very therapeutic.

Q2) What do you do if you cannot sleep at night? toss and turn, count sheep or get up and do something productive?

If I cannot sleep at night, I say a little mantra in my head = don't go to sleep, don't go to sleep, don't got to sleep.  As I normally do the opposite to what people tell me to do, this normally works. Seriously it does.

On the odd occasion this does not work, I will get up and go down stairs, making sure I don't do anything to fire up my brain as I will never get back to sleep then, so I just surf the internet, read blogs go on pinterest. Until I am ready to go back to sleep.

Till next time

Bye xxx

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Posted by tracy watkiss at 19:23 1 comments
Well today was one of those days, wanted to stand on a cliff side with no one around for miles and just scream "ARRRRRRRGH" for no other reason than to let the tension out. Don't ask me why I felt like that, I felt the same yesterday and Monday too.

I really don't know why, it confuses the hell out of me.


Continuing with the questions=

Q1) What are your nicknames and what do you prefer to be called?

I have a few nicknames = Trace, Precious(mum calls me it), Smelly, ugly and pooh bear (all 3 things my husband calls me), Princess (well it is all about me). I really don't mind any term of endearment as long as it is positive, so don't have a preference other than my given name LOL. I don't like strangers calling me LOVE though.

Q2) What book are you currently reading?

I am reading  Truth Lies Bleeding by Tony Black (British Crime Writer)
 A young girls body is found in a dumpster and so the investigation begins. Only Just Started it so thats all I can share at the moment.

That's all for today xxx

Monday, 17 February 2014

Begin a fresh.

Posted by tracy watkiss at 15:54 1 comments
Well this week I aim to do exactly as the title says.
Albeit from this afternoon as I stumbled at the first hurdle today, getting up and going to the shop.
I have noticed the three main things that I could control were A) work B) Diet C) Exercise

but since being diagnosed with depression I can only do one a day, LOL! Well it feels like that to me. Sometimes If I am having a better day I can do two, but never three. That is my focus area, from tomorrow just keep plugging and it will snap back as it snapped out hopefully.

Enough of the wow is me - I have already had to apologise to hubby for snapping his head off this morning.

Todays Questions.

Are you strong?

Mentally = I used to be but I am temporarily broked. Waiting for a Technician to fix me, but we cannot source the part needed.
Physically = Legs yes, arms no, This I discovered whist doing triceps and biceps weights at the gym, I am pathetic at the arm stuff.

What Car do you Drive? And What do you think it says about you?

Now this is a fact a lot of you may find strange in this day and age, but I can't drive. I had Lessons failed the tests, gave up. I am terrified of driving. I am happy to rely on hubby to get me around, or when I go out with the girlies (I have great friends who pick me up, I always check its okay, don't want them feeling taken for granted). Other than that I have legs, or public transport. So what does that say about me Not sure really, never thought about it.

till next time hugs xxx

Sunday, 16 February 2014

A lovely weekend away!

Posted by tracy watkiss at 14:28 1 comments
Well My girlies did it again. They got me out for a fun afternoon and evening. After a funny start to the day.

I got up to go into the shop, but was not feeling the most positive of feelings after a very unsettled stormy night. When I looked out the window, to my surprise there were 2 horses and a foal running wild. We did not want them to run into the main road, so a round up was conducted and police called.

By the time this was done, I just felt so off balance I did not go in the shop and  it was time to get ready to meet the girls for a late lunch and some shopping, then have a sleepover a Novas' which this month was going to be Italian themed. These evenings feel like a get out of Jail free card, I am not yet ready to go out evenings in crowded restaurants dressing up, so an informal night giggling, with pj's, no make up, laughter and comfy silences are great for me.

We were going to pretend that we had actually been, as imagine our surprise when we got to Plymouth Drake Circus to discover this.


So many yummy Italian specialities on sale. We did add to our evening meal with a few choice purchases.

We had a very chilled out shop, avoiding all the busy outlets.

Then when we returned to Novas we did a little bit of crafting, followed by Wine, Pizza and Bridget Jones.

I am home now totally exhausted, as it was a very long day for me being out to play, but so worth it. Taking it easy indoors today.



I know I have neglected the questions recently so here goes with two more for you.

One of your favourite things about your Hometown?

Mine has to be Plymouth Hoe, Walking from the childrens play park up around the sea front and down to the Barbican, off course it helps if you have a nice day for it, taking it nice and slow so you can enjoy an ice cream whilst you stroll, and/ or get fish and chips and sit and watch the world go by. There is nowhere like home. This is just one of my favourites, we are lucky to have the moors the other side so have that option too. ;-)

What makes me blush?

Emmmm! I can put my foot in my mouth quite a bit innuendo wise and then I Blush. I have to admit though that I know a gentleman who is a motivator/ life coach and when he talks directly to me, about questioning who I am and what I need to change I blush! I thinks its my protective mechanism kicking in as I don't want people to realise I am not as strong/ happy/ confident/ coping as well as I try to put across.






Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Thought for today!

Posted by tracy watkiss at 11:00 1 comments
Today there are no questions as I cannot think of answers!

Today there is just a quote that reflects my mood . xx






Other thoughts : I hope today brings you all a happier day despite the dreadful weather, thoughts are with those suffering in these horrendous floods. Whilst our politicians squabble like children and blame one another.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Good morning World Its a brand new day!!

Posted by tracy watkiss at 08:06 2 comments
Well trying to keep the positivity going, Had a funny old day yesterday, a little panic at my first outing back to circuits, handled it quite well me thinks.
Awoke to go swimming, but cancelled my poor mum has a stonking cold.
Rather than going back to bed, I am sat on Sofa - this is a positive as I did not just crawl back into bed to sleep half the day away. GO ME!!

So decided to get my blog challenge done nice and early again.

So question one

What Inspires you to be creative?
MMM! I don't really know,Mum taught me to bake and cook, my nans' taught me to knit and sew. I taught everything else myself it comes from inside me (how arty does that sound LOL!).

Most of what I create depends on moods, nature around us, but even the weather can effect me.

I have always loved getting inky and messy, at home and I intend to do a lot more of that in future.

Like the Pics below. I also love elegant and simple cards too so a mixture of all sorts inspire me.




( Note I have not made these canvases, they are pics that inspire me from Pinterest)

Question 2

Something good that's happened to you this week?

Em! Well the week is very young and so I don't think it's happened yet. I am awaiting a parcel of goods today so that may be one. I have a girlie sleepover to look forward to on Saturday so that will probably be the day something fun and good happens. Hoping to go gym tonight. To be frankly honest though, to be up and out in the world is a good thing at the moment.

That's all for now

Bye Bye xx


Monday, 10 February 2014

Question time again.

Posted by tracy watkiss at 10:06 2 comments
Okay a quick post today. As I have to drag myself out the house today, good start I remembered to take my tablet, big tick for me.

On to questions

What food could you not live without?

Easy peasy lemon squeazy answer for me today = toast. I love toast, I turn to toast when I am struggling and need a hug when no one is around. If I want to feel warm and snuggly on a cold evening its toast I eat. I have to plan in toast days on my ww diet too, as I would crumble and not bother dieting without it. How weird does that make me - I don't care.

Your earliest memory?

My earliest memory is a pink coat I had. I Loved my pink coat. I must have been 4??? I think I was going to look around my infants school for the first time. Not sure all I can remember is my coat. It was a wool coat Pink with a pink and white check colour and bands around the cuff area with gold buttons. and a matching band across the waist area on the back. I thought it was very grown up and I was the bees knees in it.

I want that coat now - ooh maybe thats why I like proper wool grown up coats now. My Sarah got me the most amazing coat for christmas.



Sunday, 9 February 2014

Early post tod? for me,

Posted by tracy watkiss at 10:12 5 comments
Earlier than normal anyway.

Today sees us doing the food shop. Not a lot else planned as the weather is making sure its a stay at home day.

I hope to maybe do some crafting today maybe! Knitting is defo on the cards as I am knitting a tunic for Jill, thought it would be relatively simple then realised its knitted in the round from the top down. In for a penny.

I promise to show some craft items soon. Thank you so much for being patient with me.

Onto todays questions for the blog.

A date you would love to go on?

I am passed the dating scene, but if I could have a special date with my man, would it be wrong for my dog to come too. I would love to stay in a cottage on the moors, walk the dog for a good couple of hours across the moorland, then back to a roaring log fire, a good bottle of Travicello red wine, a nice pasta meal, and a movie or read a book.  (unfortunately Hubby can't do the walk, so very unlikely to happen exactly like that).

Where you would like to move or visit?

I am going to be greedy and say a couple

News Zealand/Australia I have always wanted to go to Aus, just to see the culture the beaches, warmth and more. But New Zealand pictures make me want to go and explore the history and the scenery. For my grown up cultural experience.

But the inner child - Disney land Florida pleases!!!!!  I want to go see the magic castle, watch the parade, see the characters. Especially Piglet - Oh ddddear, I love piglet. I wanna go, I really really wanna go.

Saturday, 8 February 2014

30 day Challenge time just one question for today

Posted by tracy watkiss at 20:30 2 comments

Okay my dear friend Elaine has nagged me in a nice way to get my questions posted,

So today's question

 

Things you would like To say to an ex : either partner or friend

Mine would be to an ex-husband

Thankyou for my two beautiful girls,

Thankyou for having an affair with someone else because if you did not I would have been in an unhappy marriage, your affair gave me the courage to say adios amigos. Move on and meet the most caring man, who looks after me without question.

Thankyou for not staying in the girls lives, as that allowed them to have a man who loves them and treats them as a DAD should. As the saying goes anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a DAD.

 

So all I can say to you with no bitterness or regret is THANK YOU.

 

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Lots of new things sorted today.

Posted by tracy watkiss at 19:33 1 comments
Well I went into work today, Wednesday mornings are lovely, time for Karen, Jill and myself to make decisions,chat and look forward to the future.

We have made some very important ones today, time will reveal them, but we all know it is going to be for the better and better for everyone.

I forgot to take my tablet and looked like a mad woman bouncing around the walls, and then was left totally exhausted this afternoon.

So what fine questions lay in store for me today.

Question 1 :  your last kiss today or when was it and who and why?

My last kiss was today, on the cheeks, with Karen. We kissed each other goodbye and had a hug, just as a support and care thing. She is so calm and laid back. Love her.


Question 2: A song/music you listened to today?

It was on the radio on the way into work today. It just happened to be one that made me smile as it was in the charts about 1979, and I was 9 and would sing along happily, still has that effect on me now
Video Killed the radio star by buggles. link below.



Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Posted by tracy watkiss at 17:32 0 comments
Today I was up early, off out for a swim with my mum, we chat and swim and put the world to right, mother daughter time is good for both of us. 
Then home to mums to sort out a new idea I am working through (no news yet, when I can share I will).
 Had yummy toast and tea, made by Philip, lovely jubbly, then off to booker to get mums cake supplies.

 Never mind the waffle now I have to relax. Hoping to get a couple hours in work tomorrow.

 So todays Questions. 

 Something you are currently worrying about?

Seriously - you are going to ask me that question? Are you kidding me, I worry about everything, if I have nothing to worry about, I worry about that. At the moment I worry about the strain my depression and anxiety is putting loved ones under. But I am a fighter and I am bouncing back (just call me Rocky, mmm second thoughts more like the cowardly Lion. Purrt em up).

A moment you felt most satisfied with your life?

This moment was in 1997, I had not long been married to Dale, and he was working, the girls were home on school holidays and I was a stay at home mum. I loved it. 

thats all for today xx



Monday, 3 February 2014

OOPs MIssed a couple of days of the challenge.

Posted by tracy watkiss at 13:30 3 comments
I was out All day Saturday and yesterday was just too shattered to do anything at all.

So a quick post today so I don't miss it 

Your opinion on cheating on people.

Never ever agree with it. My first husband cheated on me, as did my now husbands first wife to him. The hurt and pain it causes, is unforgivable. If you are not happy, either work out resolving the issues or be honest and and end the relationship first. 

Your Zodiac sign and does it suit you?

I am Gemini and reading the below info about my sign made me go OOH!!!! AAHH! And OMG!

I have never looked at Gemini in such a detailed way.

I present Me:

Gemini and Independence:

Gemini are extremely independent. They will not be pinned down by anyone or any rules. They need to experience the world on their own. Change and freedom are extremely important to Gemini, they will never let anyone dictate them, they are extremely independent and freedom is essential to their mental well being.

Gemini and Friendship:

Gemini make very interesting and exciting friends. They like to leave their mark on everyone they meet. They are very flighty and will disappear for a long time as they meet new friends and explore new places. But when they come back, they will have new thoughts, opinions and interesting things to share and ideas to teach. Life is very interesting and fun with a Gemini friend. If you need any advice, Gemini is the one to ask. They are masters of communication and they can help you get what you need by helping you with persuasion and enthusiasm, and they give good advice too. Do not however, bog a Gemini down with all of your emotional problems, they are not want to deal with it because it depresses them and steps on their freedom if you need too much long term help, support and follow up. A Gemini friend can fill you in with the latest gossip and if you love conversation, the Gemini delivers! They are very generous with their friends, they will spend lots of time with you and share everything with you. Even though Gemini is a social butterfly, they always need time for themselves and that should be respected.

Gemini and Business:

Gemini tends to disperse their energy on different tasks and not just focus on one thing thus leaving a trail of unfinished projects in their wake. If they were to focus their energy in one place, their cleverness and intelligence would allow them to complete their project with success and creativity. Gemini makes an excellent manager, they can motivate a team with their enthusiasm and vitality. They also make excellent salespeople because their ease of communication allows them to be clever and make a comeback to anything a person says. They can persuade and manipulate very well. They can easily justify any move they make and explain any action.

Gemini Temperament:

Gemini have the ability to react instantly to situations, and as a result, they have a very nervous temperament. They can be compared to a wound up spring as they attempt to absorb everything they can about their surroundings at once. The fact that they enjoy various situations and people add to their nervousness and that means they are almost constantly wound up. However, if they experience boredom and have nothing to survey, they get the same emotions, the need for excitement and variety. This is the Gemini duality, constantly conflicting emotions in one spontaneous, excitable package.

Gemini Deep Inside:

One downfall of Gemini is their superficiality. Instead of looking deep into a person's real qualities, Gemini will judge a person by the way they treat them. This can lead Gemini to have wrong impressions of people and can cause problems ion relationships. Gemini's can have feeling of discouragement and moodiness although they never allow this to be seen by anyone but heir closest friends or family. Gemini usually want everyone to think that they are always happy and doing wonderfully and stress never affects them.

Gemini in a Nutshell:

Gemini people are many sided, quick both in the mind and physically. They are brimming with energy and vitality, they are clever with words. They are intelligent and very adaptable to every situation and every person. Gemini are curious and always want to know what's going on in the world around them. They are not one to sit back and watch the world go by, they want to be involved. This can sometimes make Gemini nosy, they do not mind their own business! This is because they really enjoy communicating, more so then most other astrology signs, they are the ultimate social butterfly. Gemini can talk and talk, but they have interesting things to say, their talk is not mindless babble. They have interesting opinions and thoughts on things and are not afraid to speak their mind. They are always in the know and are the one to see for the latest juicy gossip. Lacking perseverance, Gemini easily goes off topic to explore another thought or idea. Gemini are superficial, they will form opinions on matter without diving into them and exploring them fully. This can lead them into thinking they know everything, which they usually do but their mind is too busy to be concerned with fine details. Routine and boredom are Gemini's biggest fears. Gemini would rather be naive then know the depressing truth, they do not want anything putting a damper on their freedom or positive energy. 

Let me know If you think it sums me up, I would love to hear your views LOL!


 

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