Monday, 24 August 2015

Monday 24th August

Posted by Tracy at 09:02 0 comments
Good morning



Don't you just love the fact that after a weekend, you always get the chance to start a fresh.

New Week
New Goals
New Starts
New Challenges.
New Incentive
New determination.

New Knitting projects to cast on (Oh that's just me?!!)

That's how I feel this morning.
We had a very lazy weekend, sat around not doing much at all. In fact I spent most of yesterday grumbling I did not feel comfortable, just Meh! Then it kinda dawned on me It was cause I was comfort eating, eating a little too much and not moving enough.

We can only go out on short walks (understandable with Dale), and the weather has not helped. 

But Enough, I have to get motivated again. 

So bring it on Monday.

Get back to pointing, moving and feeling good. 

Oh and its Dales 48th birthday this week,
 Our 19th Wedding Anniversary is coming up too at the end of the month. 19 years!!!
 How has he not killed me already? 

Have a good day

xxx



Thursday, 20 August 2015

Gotta keep treading that water.

Posted by Tracy at 10:31 0 comments
A new day!!!!

Hello peeps, "BREATHE", I am knitting up a storm at the moment, lots of finished objects, I have even done a little bit of papercraft - making my own personal planner.

Today I try again, to be organised, healthier, fitter may follow. I hope to get craftier too.

I am on enforced time out again, not me this time - hubby.

Each day is a New day, a different day, every person we meet could be a new friend or just a different type of person, Every friend could become a happy memory, or someone we were once close too, Does not mean I like them less, just means its a new day with new rules, I still care about them. 

I am me and I have to except people are the way they are, as much as people should except me for who I am.



I need to explain I  wrote everything below before I wrote anything above this Little paragraph, I then was going to delete everything  I had written and start again as I felt it was all too much information but I just need to empty my head space of rubbish. Unlock the little door to my brain, shake out the garbage and make space for happy thoughts. 






Well it is 15 days since my last post.



I looked back on my last post today and saw I wrote this:

"Dale was taken a bit poorly last night so we have been up since 4.30 am, he seems to have settled down now although still achy."

Well it turned out that bit poorly was a full blown heart attack. which resulted in 7 days in hospital getting him settled and back home and a little wait to see what the way forward is.

Dale has given up cigarettes from that day and has not drunk alcohol either


*******

I see social media filled with mission statements and quotes about life changes, leaving friends behind, people come people go. Blahdy blah blah.

They have their worth don't get me wrong but I see more and more of it being used as a tool, as if people feeling they have been wronged by someone can use them in an attempt to say something without actually saying something.  

I found myself looking at these quotes over the last couple of days to see if anything could sum up my feelings and emotions. The answer was a big fat NO.  They were, still are in some circumstances in turmoil.

We have been fortunate and lucky Dale got the help he needed by our wonderful NHS, the service that is condemned and taken for granted so much.
The Staff were all amazing and tentative. We thank them.  

My mum was amazing as always, running around making sure I was feeding myself okay - she is a feeder LOL! (awesome august on weight watchers seized to exist from that day - I am a comfort eater).

My girls, sorry Our girls were there - Jo & Lee travelled down from Telford, I told them not too as at the time we were not sure what was going on. I was trying to be strong and realise I tend to push people away when I am doing that.( Yes! I ended up crying into my pillow a lot with huge snot ball for company - sorry TMI).

Dales sons visited whilst in hospital - opinions of Dale and myself are guarded. 

But other peoples reaction surprise me, I have been overwhelmed and underwhelmed with the actions of friends and family.  Overwhelmed by old and new friends, some from years back getting in touch via the house phone. Underwhelmed from people I valued, not even acknowledging or saying "hey you two okay!"

I know we all lead busy lives, I am the first to admit I am not the type to count on in a family/ friend personal crisis, as I don't drive, I tend to get emotional and I would feel in the way - but I would message/text/tweet/fb/phone  to say hey you okay. 

What I am trying to say is these inspirational quotes only matter when you want them too, and people show their worth in their actions. 

My mum is a doer, in your face, right up their in the thick of it, needing to be needed - in a good way.

I am in the background - hey, hi, hug, let me know if you need me kind of person (unless you are my husband and then I am in his face, I WILL LOOK AFTER YOU, SPARE YOU FROM ALL EVIL, SUPERWOMAN PERSONA.)

I am not uncaring -  I take things personally I cannot help it, it is my make up. I would take time to ask the questions though.

I Know I Know I am rambling today. I have feelings I need to express, feelings of stupidity - why did I not recognise a heart attack. Feelings of helpfulness - I could not take away the pain or fear. 

Feelings of  anger that I am still tip toeing around  making sure I bite my tongue around Dale's family not upsetting them, AAAAARRGHH! I cannot even type here why I feel that way, it is not my story to tell. Quite frankly they are not worth the heartache. 





Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Wednesday 5th August

Posted by Tracy at 09:22 0 comments
Well I am 5 days of in of being motivated and back on track.

I have had 4 lovely days off of work today is my 5th and then I am back for a 8-2 shift tomorrow, 2-8 Shift Friday, and then 8-8 Sat/Sun/Mon.

So a quick recap of yesterday as I never posted at all.

I went swimming with my mum in the morning, 24 lengths a leisurely slow swim - lovely.

We then went to town and wandered for the day and had lunch at Nandos. I had mixed green salad (no dressing) and a chicken breast.

Yesterdays #wwphotoaday instagram pic was a sweet = mine is my evening treat 3pp of sweetness that satisfies my choc craving LOL!



I managed 12,562 steps yesterday too.

******

Dale was taken a bit poorly last night so we have been up since 4.30 am, he seems to have settled down now although still achy.

******
So today starts and I am ready to relax (but get my steps in).  Have to get my DBS off to Mount Gould today. We may also go on a car trip somewhere depends on our mood. Otherwise I have to finish a Christmas present I am knitting - shock horror I know I have picked up my needles finally since the holiday!!!!

I am also on day 5 of my #wwphotoaday awesome august challenge on Instagram. Today's prompt is healthy snack.

Here is mine ; Yummy Kiwi and Strawberries.



so all in all 5 days in and everything is feeling good!!





 

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