Monday, 19 October 2015

Monday 19th October

Posted by Tracy at 08:35 0 comments
I had a great time Saturday night, but wow!!!   I forgot that drinking on a Saturday night leads to eating on a Sunday morning, afternoon, evening, night. I think I ate an entire weeks food in one day.

So today I am back watching the calories LOL!

4pp so far, and off to work in a bit. I am on a late shift today.

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Hello! An open Letter!

Posted by Tracy at 14:55 0 comments
Well again it has been a month since I posted on this ere blog.

Life has taken a whole new turn for me and I am finally feeling a lot happier. So here is my open letter.

Dear All,

I am taking responsibility for my 2 gap years on life. (Maybe it was a mid life crisis).

I struggled with life, struggled with running a business,(a business I thought was my dream, I found out I am no good at being a business woman or running a business, for me apart from Karen it was my nightmare). I struggled with family relationships and friend communication.

I did not cope and spiralled out of control. I turned my back on friends, I had to walk away from my business.

I know some people do not understand, will not forgive me. To them I apologise.  I have lost friends who I know will not come back into my life if you were one of them I am sorry if you feel hurt by my actions, I never meant to hurt you, I was to busy hurting myself emotionally. Not everything was my fault but I do take responsibility for it.

I tried really hard with the help of two friends to show I was coping, having fun.

Even those two friends have been neglected these last few months. Sorry.

If I am honest I struggle with commitments not through illness now, but I have a husband who is far poorlier than I ever was. It has put things in perspective to me, between working and studying and making sure I am there for him, it leaves me little time for socializing. I love My husband, My Beautiful Daughters and my rather Funny Son-In-Law. I love my mum too even though she treats me like I am 12 years old still. My Family are top of my spend time with list - and I so want to see my friends too. xx

But a wise lady told me today, it's time to hold my head up high again, stop hiding away through fear of hurting/ facing those people again.

So after all that I draw a line under the past. I hope you all can too.

Funny now I am working as a Health Care Assistant, I work within Mental Health. It Fits me. I am happy in my work.

Tonight I intend to go out for a proper grown up night out, the first in over 8 months or more. I have a friend who is renewing her wedding vows. I am so looking forward to celebrating this happy event with her and her family and mutual friends. xx

Kind Regards

Tracy xxx

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Wednesday 16th September

Posted by Tracy at 08:50 0 comments
 Just a quick post today, the little image above shows how I felt last night, I went back outside running for the first time since APRIL???

I have been following C25K  and got to wk4 r1 on Monday, so of course in my head that gave me the guts I needed to join a few running club buddies last night to see if I could get back to a full run quicker.  When I contacted them they said 4 miles, Scared the crap out of me. But I went and when I got there a couple decided they were aching and not running and went to the pub for a drink we agreed to meet them back there after a quick run. Long story short, I managed a 2.66 mile run in 32 minutes but it had inclines!!! My Treadmill does not give me inclines LOL!! I was quite pleased with this and it has given me the push I needed to maybe go back to club tomorrow night.

Most of all I enjoyed running with a couple of old friends and realised How much I missed them and running outside xx

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